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before perusing best-of-craigslist postings below please note:

23 Feb 2013 - Need to borrow/rent live ducks (not a joke)

18 Oct 2012 - Mini-Marshmallow Hand-Feeder -- Opportunities For Advancement

29 Aug 2012 - Demon Gypsy Couch

09 Aug 2012 - Horse in a hotel

28 Feb 2012 - Guitarist for Metal Band

13 Jan 2012 - Lifetime supply of hot sauce

20 Feb 2010 - Broken and not sure if I can be put back together

20 Feb 2010 - UT Girls Not Brave Enough for Secluded Campus Encounters - m4w

06 Feb 2010 - please help me win my wife back

25 Jan 2010 - to the person who stole my laundry detergent

26 Nov 2009 - To the hipster dude who did my lesbian roommate that one time

10 Nov 2009 - Drunk girl wrangler

08 Oct 2009 - Sing to me, O Muse, seductively sibilant strains, inspiring my spirit

21 Sep 2009 - Hipster girls of Austin - m4w

20 Jul 2009 - Coffin

11 Jul 2009 - Planned Parenthood protestors - w4m

06 Jun 2009 - 300 Stuffed Penguins Free to Good Home

14 Apr 2009 - I woke up to shit-vomit

06 Apr 2009 - How to write a successful W4W personal ad

12 Jan 2009 - 1978 Triumph Spitfire

16 Dec 2008 - a letter from a shelter manager

15 Dec 2008 - RAT IN SUV

24 Oct 2008 - Hideous, Mean, Saggy-titted Cur

23 Sep 2008 - PHOTOSHOP WIZ NEEDED ASAP

03 Jun 2008 - rocketship/boat/race car/fort/house/time machine

24 Mar 2008 - Dear Cat,

11 Mar 2008 - Mom, I know you're there.

04 Mar 2008 - Awesome handstitched rug made from ex's fave shirts.

18 Feb 2008 - Pheromone Assault - m4w

31 Jan 2008 - Seeking hardworking service providers...

17 Dec 2007 - My Missed Connection with Hard-Earned Cervical Annihilation. - w4m

19 Oct 2007 - Frankenpick

18 Oct 2007 - Calling all Roys or Troys or LeRoys

10 Sep 2007 - Why we should hang out: a mathematical proof

26 Aug 2007 - An Open Letter to Bi-curious Drunk Girls

25 Jun 2007 - Wanfu Date Farts - w4m

02 May 2007 - True Story: Battle Asses.

20 Apr 2007 - Meet Your Three New Best Friends!

19 Apr 2007 - To the guy who had sex last night in front of my house

19 Nov 2006 - You might be creeped out. It's talk and type software - w4m

10 Aug 2006 - 7 out of 8 ain't bad...

02 Aug 2006 - Gently Used

12 May 2006 - Good lays are hard to find.

09 May 2006 - Fuck you, chores

01 Apr 2006 - Still trying to sell this piece of crap

09 Mar 2006 - Austin Rants & Raves In a Nutshell

21 Feb 2006 - PLEASE take my Jesus Plates

15 Jan 2006 - The Effects of Celibacy

22 Dec 2005 - new year's resolutions for the single straight male diner - m4w

15 Nov 2005 - why does this piss me off so much? GET IT RIGHT...

18 Oct 2005 - Die Spinny Hubcap Thingys!!

09 Oct 2005 - Please Date My Human Companion

24 Sep 2005 - Witty statement or question that attracts your attention

11 Sep 2005 - Craig’s List Top 10 M4W Personal Ads

02 Sep 2005 - To the waitress that I disgraced

13 Aug 2005 - Stupid People Will Inherit the Earth

09 Aug 2005 - Cute bitch sitting shotgun in my bad ass Lincloln - m4w

07 Aug 2005 - Single Blue Bike seeks someone to ride her - VINTAGE

06 Jul 2005 - My Roommate and his Loathsome Cat

06 Jul 2005 - Lazy girl seeks same in boy form

30 Jun 2005 - Re: Rant: My sex drive

29 Jun 2005 - You were Dumpster-Diving at the Goodwill off Lake Austin Blvd. - m4w

24 Jun 2005 - Breaking up with I-35

18 Jun 2005 - for the guy who yelled to me as I rode my scooter

17 Jun 2005 - Gaping Axe Wound Seeks Mental Midget

14 Jun 2005 - An Open Letter to Danica Patrick

01 May 2005 - Dear men who want me to assfuck you, - w4m

28 Apr 2005 - Missed Connection: Your face and my crotch - m4w

22 Apr 2005 - So here is how my day went...

16 Apr 2005 - Big-Dick LIARS

10 Apr 2005 - Goodnight Austin

28 Mar 2005 - To The Nudist Who Keeps Calling About My Room

25 Mar 2005 - I love you

24 Mar 2005 - pooping at work

11 Mar 2005 - So I fell in love with a drummer...

09 Jan 2005 - Fuck you Cell phone. Fuck you lamppost.

23 Dec 2004 - Did somebody says boobies?

08 Dec 2004 - RANT: The Myth of the Nice Guy Finishing Last

07 Dec 2004 - Rant: I’m a cranky Jew

06 Dec 2004 - RANT: The Manager's Revenge--An Open Letter

19 Nov 2004 - How many lesbians does it take...

14 May 2004 - Dear Mr. Maintenance

02 May 2004 - My 9 step plan for the perfect blind date

02 Apr 2004 - The Pixies. Not At Stubb's. Again.

23 Mar 2004 - seeking 6 20-something BM thieves (or anyone who can identify them) - w4m

02 Sep 2003 - rude female driver